Enhancing Relationships with the Right Support and Information
How to Master Your Emotions
We see that many life challenges stem from relationship breakdown caused by out of control emotional reactions. To win in life you need to know how to master your emotions. Over the years we have helped many men and women overcome depression, suicidal thoughts and family violence by teaching them how to be in charge of their emotions and the thoughts and actions that trigger them.
You are constantly in relationship with yourself as well as others. Whether this be at home, work, in your community, with friends, playing sports, or at school. Every interaction you have in life requires relating with others. For this reason you need to know how to master your emotions… so you can stop sabotaging your life.
Mastering your emotions is the key to unlimited happiness
Unwanted emotions can make us feel isolated and create an emotional divide between ourselves and others. We need to deal with our strong emotions such as anger, frustration, anxiety, sadness or disappointment in the moment they are triggered, otherwise they affect the people around us.
Biologically speaking, we are programmed towards safety and when we perceive another person emotionally triggered, their physiology (body language, facial expressions and posture) and tonality (speech rate, volume and timbre) puts us on high alert of impending danger. We are well rehearsed in picking up the warning signs of others being triggered into fight or flight. This means that we too are emotionally triggered.
If we don’t correctly redirect our awareness at this stage, our tense mental state and negative interpretations of the event will lead us to a full-blown emotional response which is known as fight/flight or freeze/shutdown.
People either express their triggers externally or internally and are therefore accused as being aggressive or passive-aggressive when triggered. The reality is that regardless of their mode of expression, when a person is triggered they cannot think clearly, hear clearly or communicate clearly. This is why arguing your point never works.
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What Triggers You?
Most people are triggered 40+ times a day. These “triggers” often take place in moments that are not the best time to have a debate such as when you are tired, hungry or driving. Additionally, triggered emotions and disputes can also be brought on by:
A clashing of ideas
Not feeling heard
Feeling judged or accused
Not feeling appreciated
Or feeling put down
Arguments drain energy and usually end up in a negative situation, often with a negative outcome for all concerned. Sometimes, devastating things are said and done in the heat of the moment… things that you can regret for the rest of your life.
As with many couples, your choice of words and actions constantly trigger each other so as a result you both end up feeling alone, even though you’re in a relationship. Hence, not knowing how to resolve emotions and then communicate effectively, keeps holding you back from the life you want to live.
This constant negative analysis keeps you focused on what you don’t want and causes more tension, anxiety and stress in your relationship. It stops you from enjoying the happy and healthy relationship you deserve.
How Can I Stop Feeling Emotionally Triggered?
To regain control of yourself and stop the repetitive cycle of reacting and being retriggered, you need to align your mind and body to restore a sense of calm.
The Emotional Reset Technique (ERT) gives you the ability to respond rather than react when you’re feeling triggered. Based on neuroscience, ERT is a simple technique that immediately calms your body and mind, which enables you to think clearly instead of being overwhelmed. From this empowered state you can direct your focus toward your ideal outcome and clearly articulate your needs.
This requires two essential steps which once learned in order, work in conjunction with each other and can be interchanged for maximum effect. We explain the full process in our Emotional Reset Technique™ program which you can access here via private consultation.
Master Your Emotions with the Emotional Reset Technique (ERT)
The Emotional Reset Technique (ERT) provides the missing link so you can master your emotions. It stops the cycle of violence toward yourself and others by controlling your emotional triggers.
Firstly, you need to resolve the emotion in the moment it is triggered. This is a simple biological process which can resolve in a few seconds when you know how to get out of your own way.
Secondly, empower your actions toward what you want. Most of the time we focus on what we don’t want and this is mainly due to being caught up in our emotions and incorrect interpretations.
Applying ERT ensures you don’t become defensive, accuse, blame and or make excuses when you are feeling triggered. Mastering your emotions is the first step toward restoring unlimited happiness in your life. The Emotional Reset Technique™ creates a powerful pause which you can use to restore peace in your mind as well as harmony and ease in your relationships.
Benefits of the Emotional Reset Technique:
Neutralises anxiety and other strong emotions
Reduces feelings of being triggered
Instantly removes emotional resistance and feelings of separation
Prevents controlling and reactive behaviors
Eliminates feelings of isolation and loneliness
Enables clear, calm, and inspired communication
Provides clarity to resolve other issues
Enables a clear sense of moving forward in life
Application of the Emotional Reset
1. Resolve:Resolve the triggered emotional response. This allows you to naturally reset your point of focus toward empowered thinking. In contrast, this is a more neutral, calm and aligned perspective. Also, your best communication always comes from a state of calm.
2. Respond:The best way to respond is from a place of safety, calm and power whether you are being triggered from an imagined or real event. By preventing your mind from overreacting to situations, you are able to respond in the most appropriate manner.
3. Respect:The Emotional Reset Technique gives you the confidence to live a life of respect to yourself and others. This leads to mental and emotional peace and well being. It also helps prevent family violence, addictions, depression, violence, bullying, harassment, isolation and suicide.
The Emotional Reset Technique is Saving Relationships & Lives
Chris was 5 years into a new relationship. Right from the start, he had developed a tumultuous relationship with his partner’s oldest daughter, age 15. He constantly felt triggered and was always on edge in his interactions with her. The constant tension, arguments and stress between them was driving a wedge into his otherwise happy relationship with his partner. He sometimes dreaded going home because he couldn’t seem to help himself from over reacting when he felt triggered.
“This technique has so many applications. I thought that my awful relationship with my partner’s daughter was going to destroy our own relationship. We just couldn’t get along. I started applying the Emotional Reset Technique and so far it has worked! It’s made it easy to get along with my step daughter and the best thing is that it’s improved my relationship with my partner too.” – Chris G
The Emotional Reset Technique Helps Prevent Arguments
Daniel and his partner had very different parenting styles. This caused many arguments. He often felt resentful that his partner’s teenage children weren’t pulling their weight. The daughter and Daniel were always triggering each other. Neither teen would listen to him. Nor did they respect anything he had to say. “This technique makes me feel like I have super powers! I’ve been consistently applying the technique when I’ve felt triggered over the past few weeks and it’s incredible how different I feel – and the kids are now responding and listening to me! My partner keeps looking at me like she’s trying to figure out what’s different. I feel so much more relaxed and at ease.” – Daniel
Eliminate the need for addictions…
David was trying to give up smoking. But he couldn’t get past his great emotional need to have a cigarette. In the past, he had been sent to counseling after being caught smoking marijuana. He described that drug as being the only thing which made him feel good as a person. When that option was taken away from him, he wondered at the craziness of it. He even said to his parents, “You mean you’re taking away from me the only thing which makes me feel good and makes me want to live?”
He had experienced years of counseling which never addressed his reaction to emotions. Finally, learning the Emotional Reset Technique enabled David to immediately regain his sense of self and personal empowerment. Consequently, he didn’t need external validation or his previous addictions:
“I was shown this technique to deal with a personal issue. It was suggested I also apply it whenever I felt the need to smoke cigarettes. Within two days my cravings were gone completely! And now I don’t feel the need for alcohol either! I can’t believe how relaxed and at ease I feel. It feels good just being me.” – David It’s not the method of the addiction, but the underlying hurt and sense of disconnect that needs to be addressed, because this is what makes the person reach for a better feeling. The Emotional Reset Technique neutralises the effects of the emotional response and brings your brain into an empowered state. In this empowered state, there is no need for a dopamine hit and you immediately feel relaxed and at ease.
Restore a Sense of Ease
“The Emotional Reset Technique helps generally with life problems. I find it quite simple and effective and I know it will become more natural for me. Thanks for your very clear and helpful guidance. It has made a big difference to my confidence.” – Gordon
The Emotional Reset Technique (ERT) is an essential step for resolving the issues which are sabotaging your relationships. Additionally, the Emotional Reset Technique has the power to reset your relationships and your life to succeed on autopilot. Get started here.
If you are in a crisis situation please go to Mates.org.nz for support