How to Master Your Emotions

We see that many life challenges stem from relationship breakdown caused by out of control emotional reactions. To win in life you need to know how to master your emotions. Over the last 15 years we have helped many men and women overcome depression, suicidal thoughts and family violence by teaching them how to be in charge of their emotions and the thoughts and behaviors that trigger them.

Your ability to feel good about yourself and your life is to recognise you are in a constant relationship with yourself and others whether you are at work, home, in your community, social gatherings, sports, or school. Every interaction you have in life requires relating with others. For this reason you need to know how to master your emotions so you can stop sabotaging your life.

Mastering Your Emotions is the Key to Experiencing Happiness

The biggest impediment to achieving happy and fulfilling relationships are emotional reactions to real or imagined events and situations such as bullying, various forms of harassment and isolation. These may include feelings such as anger, frustration, anxiety, sadness. We feel emotionally triggered many times a day, more often when we have other issues going on that we don’t know how to resolve and sadly if not addressed can lead to anxiety, depression, addictions, family violence, bullying, various forms of harassment, isolation and thoughts about suicide.

Unwanted emotions can make us feel isolated and create an emotional divide between ourselves and others. We need to deal with our strong emotions in the moment they are triggered, otherwise they affect the people around us.

Biologically speaking, we are programmed towards safety and when we perceive another person emotionally triggered, their physiology (body language, facial expressions and posture) and tonality (speech rate, volume and timbre) puts us on high alert of impending danger. We are well rehearsed in picking up the warning signs of others being triggered into fight or flight. This means that we too become emotionally triggered.

If we don’t correctly redirect our awareness at this stage, our tense mental state and negative interpretations of the event will lead us to a full-blown emotional response which is known as fight/flight or freeze/shutdown.

People either express their triggers externally or internally and are therefore accused as being aggressive or passive-aggressive when triggered. The reality is that regardless of their mode of expression, when a person is triggered they cannot think clearly, hear clearly or communicate clearly. This is why arguing your point never works.

Understand What's Triggering You

As with many couples, your choice of words and actions constantly trigger each other so as a result you can both end up feeling alone, even though you’re in a relationship. Being focused on what you don't want causes more tension, anxiety and stress in your relationship.

Arguments drain energy and usually end up in a negative situation and outcome for all concerned. Sometimes, devastating things are said and done in the heat of the moment that you can regret for the rest of your life. An argument can be brought on by a clashing of ideas, not feeling heard, feeling disrespected, feeling judged, feeling accused, feeling put down, feeling unappreciated and can arise in moments unexpectedly and that are not the best time to have a discussion.

Most people are emotionally triggered 40+ times a day. These “triggers” often take place in moments that are not the best time to have a debate such as when you are tired, hungry or driving.

We have been conditioned since childhood to ignore or suppress our emotions to make us more acceptable to others. This very act keeps us feeling separate and isolated from others. It's time to stop the cycle of violence toward yourself and others by mastering your emotions and associated triggers.

How Can I Stop Feeling Emotionally Triggered?

The Emotional Reset Technique is key to being in charge of how you feel. It will allow you to express your thoughts and feelings intelligently, from a more neutral, calm and aligned perspective so you:

Become far less defensive when you are triggered and prevent your mind from over analysing and reacting to situations
Have no need to make excuses for your behaviour and/or deal with the negative impact and destruction of these in your life
Develop more confidence to live a life of respect for yourself and others leading to mental and emotional peace and well being.

Based on neuroscience, ERT is a simple technique that immediately calms your body and mind. We explain the Emotional Reset Technique in our Mind Renaissance program which you can currently access via private consultation.

Man and woman having an exciting conversation.

Master Your Emotions with the Emotional Reset Technique (ERT)

The Emotional Reset Technique helps us establish a calm physiological state when emotionally triggered from a perceived annoyance, threat, or hurt. It is effective in resetting and regulating our facial expressions, gestures, listening and voice tonality. ERT also helps calm the heart, down-regulates defenses and increases the flow of beneficial hormones and neurochemicals within the body such as dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin and endorphins, giving you real power and control over 3 main areas of your life:

1. Emotions: Your biology and psychology work together and your physiology is the best indicator of threat.

Your brain is designed to connect with others and is threatened when you feel isolated
Maintaining positive emotions is dependent on energy drain from false emotional triggers
Being able to consistently reset your negative emotions to a place of calm is true power

2. Relationships: Great relationships are your best investment in time and energy and the best antidepressant.

Being able to reorient your brain's focus from threat/suffering toward reward/happiness
Understanding and awareness that your attitude creates your state, therefore your world
Your creative potential is achieved through your relationships with people

3. Thinking: It is your thinking that sabotages your happiness by putting a meaning on the situation or event.

Taking full accountability for the choices you make and their outcomes
Eliminating accusation, blame and criticism from your life
Focusing your energy on what you want and not on what you don’t want

Mind Renaissance with the Power of Emotional Reset Technique (ERT) is Saving Relationships

Chris was 5 years into a new relationship. Right from the start, he had developed a tumultuous relationship with his partner’s oldest daughter, age 15. He constantly felt triggered and was always on edge in his interactions with her. The constant tension, arguments and stress between them was driving a wedge into his otherwise happy relationship with his partner. He sometimes dreaded going home because he couldn’t seem to help himself from over reacting when he felt triggered.

“This technique has so many applications. I thought that my awful relationship with my partner’s daughter was going to destroy our own relationship. We just couldn’t get along. I started applying the Emotional Reset Technique and so far it has worked! It’s made it easy to get along with my step daughter and the best thing is that it’s improved my relationship with my partner too.” – Chris

The Emotional Reset Technique Helps Prevent Arguments

Daniel and his partner had very different parenting styles. This caused many arguments. He often felt resentful that his partner’s teenage children weren’t pulling their weight. The daughter and Daniel were always triggering each other. Neither teen would listen to him. Nor did they respect anything he had to say.

“This technique makes me feel like I have super powers! I’ve been consistently applying the technique when I’ve felt triggered over the past few weeks and it’s incredible how different I feel – and the kids are now responding and listening to me! My partner keeps looking at me like she’s trying to figure out what’s different. I feel so much more relaxed and at ease.” – Daniel

Eliminate the Need for Addictions with ERT

David was trying to give up smoking. But he couldn’t get past his great emotional need to have a cigarette. In the past, he had been sent to counseling after being caught smoking marijuana. He described that drug as being the only thing which made him feel good as a person. When that option was taken away from him, he wondered at the craziness of it. He even said to his parents, “You mean you’re taking away from me the only thing which makes me feel good and makes me want to live?”

After years of counseling, the Emotional Reset Technique enabled David to immediately regain his sense of self and personal empowerment so he didn’t need external validation or his previous addictions:

“I was shown this technique to deal with a personal issue. It was suggested I also apply it whenever I felt the need to smoke cigarettes. Within two days my cravings were gone completely! And now I don’t feel the need for alcohol either! I can’t believe how relaxed and at ease I feel. It feels good just being me.” – David

It’s not the method of the addiction, but the underlying hurt and sense of disconnect that needs to be addressed, because this is what makes the person reach for a better feeling. The Emotional Reset Technique neutralises the effects of the emotional response and brings your brain into an empowered state. In this empowered state, there is no need for a dopamine hit and you immediately feel relaxed and at ease.

Restore a Sense of Ease with the Emotional Reset Technique

The Emotional Reset Technique (ERT) is an essential step for resolving the issues which are sabotaging your personal relationships and has the power to reset your relationships and your life to succeed on autopilot. Get started with ERT here.

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